________________

It's time.

justnliteu@aol.com — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 14:53:12 GMT

Me and kyle are pregnant and it's about time.
For the most part I'm getting rid of a lot of people on my live journal that aren't really close with me, because i want to be able to post some kinda personal baby stuff <3

I will have a baby Shower in Las Vegas and it will be girls and boys
And also one in great falls

My first doctors appointment is today so i can pick my doctor and i know who it's going to be already she's amazing. I been drinking tons of low sodium V8 but what's new.. haha

I'm on a raw fruit and steamed veggie and protein diet for the baby, no MSG or Saturated fat or
Preservatives. lots of nuts and lots of coco butter lotion haha. gotta do this the right way!!

I been craving soft pretzels mm yummy.

have good day er body!

HOLLA!

justnliteu@aol.com — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 22:00:03 GMT

If you guys only new how high and how Flipping nuts this roller coaster ride has been this last year.

Well (WAS) preparing to go to the temple but we cant yet (slap on wrist) soon will be our time. Plus sometimes old habits don’t die forever lets just say hahah... I’m still proud of myself I've come along way. I don’t really have any friends anymore it seems.. haha just me and Kyle always just together. I’m so lucky to have him, he is truly a blessing and he drives me nuts! already going on 7 years together .. And I cant even think of that hahah. .Makes me feel old. I want to be 16 again!

**the times i had with (her) were great. i need to get over the fact that there over and we cant go back.

I miss Vegas but I think Japan is going to have to do before Vegas, overseas it amazing i suggest everyone to kind of live somewhere else like overseas just once.. your life will change I promise.

Back on to friends, I've decided not to let that get to me anymore, I'd always sigh about it to Kyle and he said sometimes people get caught up with life and other people in it they forget how important you use to be in there lives, and that made me think he's right im not going to try to stay in contact with people anymore if they don’t respond with me. I’m worth it to find friends and people that want to communicate. (DONE) :)

I have already quit my 2nd job, my one at the great falls Chamber of Commerce keeps me way to busy anyways, making bank for sure and me and Kyle work the same times and get off of work the same times, I’m already the Administrative Assist of Leadership Great Falls, and I’m damn proud of myself, sticking to my goals was a sshhweeeet idea.
Go lacer.

Got a new puppy! He is about 9 weeks old Aussi/ Border Collie and me and Kyle love him so much!
he is black and white and has a cute arrow on the back of his neck heading torts his head.. so his name is Rowey and bitting is def his game. And I wuv him! I’ll Post pictures soon

Sad note:
2 friends have died in the last 2 weeks.. ekk.

I don’t go in here much anymore but when I remember to just update it, I do.

i want it!

justnliteu@aol.com — Thu, 29 May 2008 21:37:16 GMT

So life is always moving, moving maybe a lil to fast sometimes a day or to has passed and everything is already different in my life, Travel seems to be coming my way alot in this time and relationship with everything that makes me get along when days are rough, but i do work to much, Been thinking alot about what(I)Want out of life.

Out of this bubble of things that change every second, Either way im sure i'll be living overseas or NJ or maybe even LA it just depends on where Im suppose to go to school and start doing what i want to do, for a while there it was florist then i always had a spert to do hair and make up then no here it comes this month this last whole month of research and prayer, fashion? why do i feel so strongly about it, my fashion seems to be kinda weird urban maybe and lots of trates of japanesse style, no people not geisha komono's (indie)
what ever the style is i've found life goes round happier when your happy about what your wearing and where it came from sound shallow? shut up. it's true. hip hop urban clothes is very much like candy to my eye, I love it! even if im not one to wear it that day. Hmmmmm where to end up is where I'll want to be but for now I dont know where the hell im moving to next, I know im going to germany in jan for sure, and I think in sept or october I'm going to maylasia well i want to plan on that, i need culture, not montanan's.

totally.
down below here is something sure and true, take it and run!.

Beautifully stated....
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to
ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder
every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was
broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose
someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been
hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness
you'll never get back.

"Don't be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin."

having to get this off my chest.

justnliteu@aol.com — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:15:56 GMT

I think it's dumb that we don't even talk and everything is erased. It's just going to be even more awkward when we are both living on the same base. a small base too. There is more to this silence, you should just let it go and tell me why.

Im going to say this

justnliteu@aol.com — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 16:13:10 GMT

Because Im bitter.

Why love something so much and love so hard, Because everything ends. Somedays I know the answer to this some days I don't, and today is one of them....

Rocky Died march 8 at 4pm, he died not alone but with everyone except me around him and holding him and kissing him and telling him it was okay to pass he took his last breath after my dad told him that "lacey loves you and she wanst you to be okay to pass and dont wait behind she'll be with you again, she loves you rocky" and he blinked and then he stopped breathing.

My precious baby rocky, you are my big brother. I love you, I was so lucky to love you and have you now im so depressed and sad to lose you.

be seeing you.

R.I.P
rocky stringer.
down belowe are some pics.

My dog rocky

justnliteu@aol.com — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 05:43:58 GMT

Rocky Has been apart of my life since I was 7. For some of you that know me well.. know that, That dog is my life. He is my Family dog and even though I Have two dogs while On my own I will say that they will never take the place or the memories of him, He has helped me morn and be sad and hurt while growing up he has played and been goffy with me and he has greeted and licked friends close to heart. Me and My Family see him as more of Just and animal or a dog really, We see him as a wonderful partner to help heal and bring joy to our life, he's basiclly more like a family memeber I know he'd listen when things were crazy, when I'd come home in the middle of the night drunk from out with friends. He has made me see loyalty In a different way. He was always soo loyal at times he was the only one I thought was there growing up.

I guess your probably wondering why Im writing this, He is sick and very old now My brother says He doesn't think he'll even make it past a week. for him 68 pounds is very small. Im sitting here trying to act like everything is going to be okay because, I live my life the best I can for my heavenly father
Because In my church we Beleive we still live and love with our families and pets when we leave and that Is what keeps me from my heart jumping outta my chest I cryed for a while because I feel so guilty for not being there enough knowing that me and him were so close, It breaks my heart to feel like He he felt like I left him and and got new dogs to feel the spot that he had it would kill me. I feel like the last time I was home we spent goodtime together, laying in bed telling him how much I loved him, and hugging his big body and kissing his big ol face with his huge eyes always looking back into mine. I been praying about it. I feel that I will see him. and he'll awlays know we did everything for him. and just because I left doesnt mean I didn't think about him or miss him and cry much.

EXCUSE THE WAY I USE TO LOOK DOWN HERE IN THESE PICTUERS..

..... This will be hard.

a pristin man.

justnliteu@aol.com — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 04:02:21 GMT

R.I.P
Hinckley

<3

justnliteu@aol.com — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 15:27:29 GMT

I think you chosen this decision Because it's hard for you.
But I think you still chose a bad move, I know you'll think of me and regret.
And that's great..

<3 for you this is just the Beginning of changes, some good some of them are just plan dumb, and bad.

Mr. MDB take care,
and I will always be here for you

My love...

justnliteu@aol.com — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 16:43:53 GMT

Today I Got an email from kyle and the subject says :
"DON'T OPEN THIS UNLESS SOMETHING HAS HAPPEND TO ME"
For me that is really hard to see you, for those of you who don't know Kyle is away again.. and he is in Iraq, If there was something I could Have done to keep him away from that eve he evil hell.. Believe me I would Have done it. Everyday A military wife looses either her best friend/husband and also a father, And I will be damned if My soul mate does not return so I'm making a packed with myself. If he Leaves this earth before I do, I will Join the ARMY and make sure that I am put out there to fight and serveand keep our us safe.. not for myself really but for him and how brave he was and the peace he left with me. It gets harder and harder everyday to wake up and do what It is I do. I'm losing my mind for sure but I know my heavenly father is there to watch over him and with that in my heart and in his is how we both sleep at night, I want alot of you to know that if you love someone and your able to be with them and see there face everyday and not haven the feeling of having to have the feeling of worried sickness or that lonely feeling because you feel lost and incomplete or even missing them so much the smallest email or letter or the shortest 2 min phone call is the most important thing in the world.. Im telling you now don't sit there in yell and fight over things..remind eachother how much you love one another and how much you want to be there for them... Because if you were in my shoes you'd regret every fight and every harsh word that was said.. And you don't want to live with sorries and regret Believe me it sucks.

To my airmen,
Loving you has brought me joy and happiness
Our love is so deep that when I missing you My chest feels like it's on fire,
I know how much you love me and how much your sorrie for leaving again. But I will be here waiting for you and loving you everyday thinking of you and praying for you because I know your doing the same exact thing. At night when your laying there scared or upset, I'll be working or doing house thinking of you being scared and upset too. Like you said whatever happends it will always be me and you.... and this what we have will never be over, And when you come home to me soon We will pick up right where we left off. And have a baby.

my strong smart sexy man. I love you, And I will always try my best to honor your name.

Our song for you:

justnliteu@aol.com — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 20:40:33 GMT

My wonderful strong smart caring sensitive husband.
Now that things were just getting more amazing this time around, Baby it will always be you and me and even though you wont be here for these month and these holidays, You'll be in my mind and heart and you'll be right there with me decorating the x-mas tree. I already miss you and It is hard but I will be strong for you; just you. You have my heart with you in iraq.
To make us closer we can pray with eachothers thoughts at hand.

I'll be seeing you... be safe come back home to me.

Another night goes by without sleeping
'Cause I know I won't wake up next to you
Another life goes by without dreaming
And I can't help but think that mine will too

I'm standing before you with this label on my head
I'm pleading before you for you to understand

Baby it's you
When I look up in the sky I see you
Then I turn and close my eyes
It's you
When I'm sitting all alone in my room
Everything reminds me of you

The time is slow and I am sinking
Into a hole blackened with lies
And though I made it myself
You stand watching as my life passes me by

I'm standing before you with this label on my head
I'm pleading before you for you to understand
How much I adore you
I'll be there till the end
When everything falls down
Will you hold my hand

Baby it's you
When I look up in the sky I see you
Then I turn and close my eyes
It's you
When I'm sitting all alone in my room
Everything reminds me of you

Baby it's you
When I look up in the sky I see you
Then I turn and close my eyes
It's you
When I'm sitting all alone in my room
Everything reminds me of you

yeaaaaaa ha

justnliteu@aol.com — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 18:52:40 GMT

Im exitied for vegas this weekend.
i cant wait to see you paige, good weekend ahead.. haunted houses all weekend! wuss up!

and im also exicited to see you it has been way to long, we will have some good time to talk about japan and other things<3

bri's wedding im sure she is excitied for, and she'll be able to see her best friend erin while she's home that will be good for her too, she needs sometime with her, plus. I'm really just her maid of honor, that's pretty much it.But! Im stoked. <3

but there are some things i seem to usually care about when I'm home that i won't this time.
tuff luck for you.

:] man I can be a bitch, but i love it.

whatever

justnliteu@aol.com — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 21:05:06 GMT

I feel thinsg changing.... like right now.

goodbye to alot. alot.

justnliteu@aol.com — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 21:55:26 GMT

I knew there was a reason for me to stay in japan. and now i found that reason.

nuts.!

please

justnliteu@aol.com — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 00:32:22 GMT

Let me say that sense I been home, I've learned that people are shady.. mostly your own friends, it seems like every person that is all over my myspace "oh i wanna see you" or "omg lets hangout" hasn't really made in effort it kinda makes me laugh then it makes me see how hard it is to keep friendships when you are never there as well, but shit if your to caught up with other people to see me when i don't even live here then tell me your to busy so i dont make in effort on my side.

seriously.

It will be weird seeing you tonight a good weird.
And I'm allllllllllll ready to see some faces tonight before I leave vegas. but I'll be coming back ALOT. promise.

kiss

packin sucks when your lazy!

justnliteu@aol.com — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 08:48:47 GMT

I feel like I have forgotten to love. until now, falling n love all over again is hard to too, but what can I say... you couldn't keep up.
that's it we speak in different voices. what can i say we tried.

Im done with trying to play the part of "the perfect" cookie cutter girl.
Im ready to act my age and smile more, and the best part of it all is doing exactly what i want.

vegas 11 more days what!

vegas.

justnliteu@aol.com — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 01:32:39 GMT

Can you feel your heartbeat racing?
Can you taste the fear in her sweat?
You've done this wrong
It's too far gone
These sheets tell of regret
I admit that I'm just a fool for you

Here is where we both go wrong
Tonight's your last chance to
Do exactly what you want to
And this could be my night
This is what makes me feel alive
Makes you feel alive
Here is where we both go wrong
So sign me up
And toss this key
'Cause for now we're
Living in this moment
And we both ignore the truth
Its all over

I feel your heart against mine
So take a breath and close your eyes.

I have like 19 more days till vegas. and may i just add i cant fuckin wait!!!!!!!!! plus there are fun clubs to dance in and people i cant wait to hug. seriously hug for hours.
I will miss being an overseas kinda gal. but t's time, it's just time. plus. did i mention freedom rings true!

i miss talking to, you don't have to be scared of this.

of course it's not right

justnliteu@aol.com — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 12:39:58 GMT

I'm a fuckin idiot.

K thanks.
I'm fine with my the things i choose though, I guess it's just better that i keep certain things to myself.

why can't we say what we are thinking of

justnliteu@aol.com — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 10:30:22 GMT

Okay.
So I lied.
Im not over you or the past.
I will never be. even if i want to. it will never end on my terms, that's just the way it will have to be.

Can't wait to see you

My light in my life.

justnliteu@aol.com — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 11:17:59 GMT

I'll let go for you

justnliteu@aol.com — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 10:17:17 GMT

What a relief I am at, I guess as you really fall in love it's easier to let go of things that have been dragging out for way to long, and the stupid thing is i knew it was.. it was just hard to let go, but now I have taught myself how to let go of things that just don't matter anymore.. and love will never disappear, but it will get lost somewhere when it isn't used.. To me the end of some things are just the beginning of other things. I feel proud right now...

it feels good to just let go, to not think, dream or wonder or even hurt in my heart about it anymore, feels like i have been sleeping in this dream of no realization the past 3 years.. and I'm finally awake.
but don't get me wrong i will never forget nor regret it. i guess i just don't feel useless anymore now.

♥ I cant wait to see everyone soon, i miss you all so much. and of course wal-mart.

everyone needs to have a party for me okay yup<3

I feel this way right now.

justnliteu@aol.com — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 08:39:49 GMT

You are the candle, love's the flame
A fire that burns through wind and rain
Shine your light on this heart of mine
Till the end of time
You came to me like the dawn through the night
Just shinin' like the sun
Out of my dreams and into my life
You are the one, you are the one

Said I loved you but I lied
'Cause this is more than love I feel inside
Said I loved you but I was wrong
'Cause love could never ever feel so strong
Said I loved you but I lied

With all my soul I've tried in vain
How can mere words my heart explain
This taste of heaven so deep so true
I've found in you
So many reasons in so many ways
My life has just begun
Need you forever, I need you to stay
You are the one, you are the one

vegas baby

justnliteu@aol.com — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 02:32:39 GMT

Hello vegas,
I'll be home in august for a month. and I won't be living across the ocean anymore i'll be living in good ol montana for 2 years, camping sounds fun so come up there and camp wit me

:)

i can't believe i have already lived in japan for 3 years... weird. now i wont be stared at every time i go off into the cities amoung japs. it will be nice

i miss everyone seeing you guys will be awsome it's been a year i havent been able to see everyone drunk or not drunk haha... i love you guys see ya'll soon count down today is 90 days suppppp.

i have some really good plans for vegas

justnliteu@aol.com — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 02:34:15 GMT

apocalyepto was amazing.

I have a new job. im a florist.
groovy

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

justnliteu@aol.com — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 02:42:00 GMT

sometims i just want to scream. but now i hold my tongue. yay me.

sometimes i think it's okay to go a lil mad.
i feel like maybe i will just say screw respect I'm going to lay you out.

I'm cool, Just let me hit you in he face a couple times.

down down down your going down

justnliteu@aol.com — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 09:46:28 GMT

Happy V-day to everyone in he pacific! tomorrow is our valentino day here in japan..eryone
I received some pretty sweet diamond earrings and let me tell you im blinging right now. just letting everyone know that v-day doesnt mean always getting alot from your gurl or boy it's spending time if possiable, well at least that is all I care about. man time, time fly's by so fast. i think im addicted to cleaning and having everything organized, it is getting the best of me any suggestions??
I miss everyone, and will see ya'll soon.

p.s
paige i will call you thursday night!